Right Conversationís for Unavoidable Confrontation
May 09, 2012
Very few of us look forward to a confrontation with another; whether it is family, friends or colleagues. Quite frankly we dread it! But as they are uncomfortable, these difficult discussions are often necessary to exact change for continued broken promises, disrespect, or expectations that havenít been met. When lack of consideration is shown or responsibilities are abandoned, it is often necessary to hold that person accountable. These conversations are crucial to our own personal and professional wellbeing and oftentimes times, they serve to enlighten the other about any actions or shortcomings that they may not even been aware of.
Think about something that has been festering in you about the actions of another that you are afraid to acknowledge or confront. Also think about why this is bothering you and how you want it to change. It is always beneficial to write your thoughts down. This helps to frame a perspective and many times can lead to other thoughts and ideas. The following are a few prompts:
What has really begun to irk me over the past weeks/months?
Is it a co-worker who simply does not pull their weight?
Is it my teenager who repeatedly breaks our curfew?
Is it my spouse who is too busy to talk or go out to dinner?
Why does this bother me?
Is it a broken rule? A broken promise?
By the other not meeting expectations, does it increase my workload? Is it disrespectful?
Does it break an agreement?
How will I drive this conversation?
Have I listed the offense?
What was the agreement?
Have I rehearsed the conversation and made a mental commitment not to get emotional?
Do I have an anecdote for a lesson learned from my own experience(s)?
Have I developed any consequences?
What are they?
How will I enforce them?
What positives to I have to share about the other to close the conversation?
This article was published in The Training Connection, Inc.'s May 2012 Newsletter.
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